Silence of the Mom was my roommate in college and knows incriminating things about me; it would not be wise to incur her wrath. Hence, I am participating in this blog-award chain-mail thingy at her request. (Shes funny and honest too, so definitely go see what shes about.)
Okay lets do this. 11 random facts, 10 questions to answer, and 10 questions for my 3 nominees.
11 random facts about me:
1. I’m eating popcorn right now and getting grease all over the keyboard.
2. I’m also drinking half a blender’s worth of strawberry daiquiri, but I keep forgetting about it, so it has melted into spiked strawberry-water. 
3. I can’t sleep with the windows open because I’m afraid I’ll get abducted by aliens. My husband thinks this is hilarious. So you think that a civilization capable of traveling light-years across space and time wouldn’t be able to figure out a window? 
I never claimed it was a rational fear.
4. I have a beard. Okay, not a beard exactly; its like five chin-hairs. But to me it feels like a f*cking beard.
5. I’ve run Tough Mudder twice, and now I feel like I’ve exercised enough for the rest of my life and don’t feel like ever exercising again for as long as I live. This is a complete 180 from about six months ago.
6. The sound of someone eating a cup of yogurt makes me want to repeatedly slam a door on my head.
7. Once when I was in college I tripped on ecstasy and thought I saw a lion pacing around a swimming pool. He was nice though, like Aslan, so I wasn’t scared.
8. I love Disney world and all things Disney, in spite of all the stuff the feminists tell me I’m supposed to hate about princess culture. I also like pink Legos.
9. I won a bronze medal in Karate at the Junior Olympics when I was 11. I still have the flexibility to kick a b*tch in the head, but probably not very accurate aim anymore. A person would have to stand very still if they really wanted me to kick them in the head.
10. Most of my kids’ clothes are used, either hand-me-downs or purchased from Goodwill or Once Upon a Child.
11. I speak Spanish fluently.
10 questions:
1. What is the most embarrassing thing your child has done/said to you in front of another adult? I’m sure they’ve done worse, but here are the ones that first come to mind:
 Mari told me “Good job Mommy! That’s a really big poopoo!” while in a busy public restroom. 
2. If you could bring one person back from the dead, famous or not, who would it be and why? My step-brother Kyle. He died at 15 – way too young. We miss him so much.
3. Underwear – yes or no? Um… Vaginas leak fluids? I don’t see how this is a question? I know some women really feel strongly that underwear is optional but to them I say: EW. And for men, I have two words: dangly nads. Followed by two more words: No. Gross.
4. Name one place you have never visited but would love to. Oregon or Washington. Because I want to hike those lush green forests and try to find myself a hunky vampire.
5. Beach or Pool? OMG BEACH. DUH. But the ocean, not the Gulf. Gotta have waves for boogie-boarding.
6. Name a word you hate. “Tender.” Oh God it gives me the willies. Almost as bad: panties.  
7. Are you a dog person or a cat person? Cats are assholes.
Not an asshole.

8. Why is it so hard for me to think of questions? Wait, me as in you or me as in me? If you mean me as in you then probably because you secretly think this chain-bloggy thing is stupid. If you mean me as in me then… oh same reason probably. I don’t know, I haven’t had to think of any questions yet.
10. Why did you start blogging? It was that or have a f*cking nervous breakdown from all the feels I was hoarding.
11. Does your significant other get jealous of your relationship with Facebook? He’s mean-mugging me at this very moment. It’s okay, I’ll have sex with him later a.k.a. brain-wash him into letting me do whatever I want.
Ten questions for my three nominees:
1. Do you ever read books more than once?
2. What is your favorite song to sing in the shower?
3. What do you think is your best feature or characteristic?
4. What is your favorite thing to do when you have free time?
5. What is your favorite season and why?
6. Have you ever danced on a stage, in a cage, or on a pole?
7. What is your favorite bad-for-you food?
8. Where’s your most ticklish spot?
9. What age do you consider old and why?
10. Name three things in your drunk drawer. I mean junk drawer. Im not editing that. Considering the daiquiris, it’s kind of perfect
My nominees:
Outmanned – I’ve never seen anyone write so much, so fast.
Autism Sparkles – funny and heartwarming autism tales. 
Daddy Anarchy – where the heck did THIS GUY come from? Funny as sh*t.